For the "FIXER" in you

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September 9, 2021

I realised a pattern in my behaviour. I felt so fulfilled when I could fix someone's problems. I could not just sit and listen to someone without coming up with an advice. Without trying to give them ways to solve whatever problem they were facing. Soon, it became more than just my need.

I let this creep into the list of my "responsibilities". I felt the undying need to help. To contribute. To know that I somehow fixed something for someone.

It was hard for me to accept that I did not have solutions. I could not do it all and that I had little to no control on how someone navigates through their lives. That, they were not mine to fix in the first place.

Do you feel this way too?

I am taking a conscious effort to not give advices until asked for. I am trying to allow myself to not make everyone's problems my own. I am trying to just be a listener sometime. A shoulder to cry on. A safe space for others maybe.

Your girl has not conquered this yet, but is getting better. Maybe I do not need to stop doing this altogether right? Maybe all I need is to know that it's okay to not fix some things. :)